Wow, how time flies! I haven’t posted in nearly a month. Granted, the Holidays kept us busy… and I had surgery… and we had a trip to CA thrown in for good measure. So, I get a free pass, right?
Recently, I was reading some mommy blogs of first time, young moms. I found myself starting to judge (oh, if they had any clue… to be young and convinced I knew it all again…). Then, I caught myself and thought… “Oh, wait… I used to be just.like.that.” Minus the blog because I wasn’t this cool back when.
When I was a young mom of bambino number one, I was on top of my game… I knew what type of parent I was going to be… and no one was going to tell me differently.
And then… bambino 2 arrived… and 3… now, I’m a “mature” Mama at 34 years old with 5 children underfoot ranging in ages from 6-11.5 years. There’s a few years tucked under this Mama’s belt.
I’ve had the
misfortune poor decision making opportunity to be a single Mama for a big part of my parenting years. I learned to balance reality with idealism… want with need… I learned to hold down the fort entirely on my own. I’ve made more mistakes than I can count. Through it all, we’ve thrived.
Funny how, judgement goes out the window once you put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
I’ve had a few wake up calls this year on judgement… this was one of them. Another was my propensity to make a judgement call about who I would give money to on the streets. I’d find myself running through a list when I saw someone holding a sign… “do I have any ones?, do they look like they are able to work and out for a handout?, does that person look to be on drugs and/or alcohol?”. One day, I felt the nudging of the Holy Spirit telling me to stop judging… Matthew 25:40 says, “…Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” Today, I am striving to be better at listening to the call of the Holy Spirit… allowing my self to be a vessel for Christ and not for this world. Just recently, I had a little argument with the Holy Spirit as I drove out of a parking lot during the very busy, pre-Christmas days. By the time I’d manuevered our HUGE 15 passenger van out of the over crowded (not to mention too small) parking lot amidst rude shoppers fighting for the rights to my parking space… I was miffed. As I drove out of the parking lot, I spotted the man on the side with his “disabled veteran” sign. I caught myself going through my check list… I only had a $20 bill in my wallet so I stopped there and proceeded to leave the parking lot. Traffic wasn’t cooperating, so I was stuck waiting for a few too many minutes. As I inched forward waiting for my turn to exit, I felt the urging of the Spirit to hand over that $20 bill. I fought it… I really did. But… once my turn arrived to exit the parking lot, I reluctantly rolled down the passenger window and handed off that $20 bill with a “God bless you”. By the time I pulled out of the parking lot, the frustration from the traffic experience had passed and be replaced by the grace of God.
He does work in mysterious ways…