If you’ve been around here for a while, you’ve shared in our journey and pain as Mama died from ALS (Lou Gehring’s or Amyotrophic Lateral Schlerosis). The very first thing Mama lost was her voice. Early in her disease; prior to a diagnosis even, she became unable to communicate verbally and had to rely on written word. Later, she lost her ability to write or use her hands at all so we devised a complicated method of alphabet sheets combined with blinking and a slight head shake to determine what Mama wanted to say.
Since Mama passed away last year, I have wished on many occasions that we had her voice preserved somewhere. I’d give nearly anything to hear her soothing, comforting, loving voice again. Mama was a lot like me, always behind the camera, trying to avoid being in pictures and captured on video. I can’t help but think, “if only we knew then what we know now”. I am making a concentrated effort to spend more time in the photos and videos instead of shirking them. Who cares if I feel a few pounds heavier than I’d like to be… or if I have a monster zit on my forehead… or if my hair is frizzy. This is me, being real… being recorded forever in history so that when I am gone, my children have something to hold onto.
These past few months have brought a strong desire to record my voice for my own children. If I ever lose my ability to speak, or pass away too early in life (and we know life can turn on a dime), I want to leave my children the comfort of my voice.
This Christmas Season, as we celebrate the birth of Christ, our Messiah, I am blessed with numerous reasons to celebrate. I will welcome a husband and two amazing sons into my life as my darling daughters gain an amazing father and brothers. Our God is an awesome God (and he must have had a strong hand in creating eHarmony). As I’ve planned this wedding (in a record 5 weeks time), I have been remarkably calm (very unlike me, who has a slight OCD issue). I know that my Mama is with me and she is shining through with this remarkable patience and sense of calm.
Rob and I purchased two books for our children this Christmas season, feeling it was a wonderful way to commemorate this journey to family we are embarking on. Today, we sat on the boys’ bottom bunk and recorded our voices reading the stories out loud… taking turns reading a page to our FIVE precious children.
This Christmas, our children will receive the gift of our voices. I pray they will always find comfort, peace, and warmth in them.
You still have time to run down to a local Hallmark store and pick up a book or two. They run $29.95 each, but we got in on a sale and walked away with two for $50. Our children will be receiving The Very First Christmas and Thank You, God, for Everything! At first, I balked a bit at the cost… then I realized, there are some things you can’t put a price tag on… the gift of voice is one of those.