The Saboteur

Day one on Alli finds Oregon Dad and our eight year old munckins, K-man and K2 out on a mission to buy new tires for the Prius.

You see, I had a flat tire on the hour drive to have dinner with my long time friend who lives in D.C. and was in Oregon visiting for the holidays. So, we currently have the donut spare on the car. All our tires need replaced and we have known this for a while, its just one of those things we (meaning HE) thought we had more time on. Not so… the tires are so bad that they wore through and I was stranded with a flat an hour from home. (Don’t you worry, I’m a self-sufficient woman so I called Grandpa because I was only 10 minutes from his house.)

The tires CANNOT wait… we can’t drive around on the spare. Nor can we risk having our only spare on the car and then getting another flat.

(Disclaimer, our tires are only 2 years and 50k miles old. They were top of the line tires with a 6 year/90k mile warranty. Evidently the Prius and all its extra battery weight is hard on tires. Or so THEY say.)

I had to wait for Oregon Dad to get home from work before we headed out for our local Costco Tire Center (tires there are going to save us about $130 over another tire center). By the time we are in town, the kids are hungry. Well, everyone is hungry and we are assuming this is going to be a long evening. The little kids are back home with TeenGirl eating nachos for dinner.

Oregon Dad asks the kiddos where they want to go for dinner. Both piped up immediately with “Dairy Queen”. (Our Dairy Queen has normal DQ ice cream but very not DQ food. They make great burgers + tots.) I pointed out that there was probably NOTHING I could eat there.

I swear to you, Oregon Dad wants me to have a oily blowout bathroom emergency. He likes poop (seriously, he made me watch nearly an hour of a colon cleanse infomercial because they were talking about POOP) and I’m sure would find my crisis quite hilarious.

We went to DQ. I ordered a plain grilled chicken breast with veggies (I used to skip the veggies because I don’t like hot lettuce) and WATER. Oregon Dad orders up a large, greasy, fried fish sandwich with CHEESE and dressing. Then he adds deep fried tots, a Mt. Dew and a BLIZZARD.

I can handle the kids sitting there munching away on their chicken strips, tots, SODA (seriously, I let them have soda once in a while) and ice cream. They are kids.

But my own husband… the man who wants me to be thin. The man who just got lab results that indicated he was suppose to be watching what he was eating. The man who also states daily that he wants to lose weight. That man is the DEVIL SABOTEUR and I told him so. He is the “want some ice cream”, “how about some cookies”, 1-2 liters of Mt. Dew daily dude who has high BP and cholesterol. Gah… I’ve mentioned on several occasions that he can either have a thin wife and give up the junk or have a fat wife who shares his ice cream (and constant eating out!).

Can you imagine how cranky I was by the end of this meal? Me… sitting there munching my chicken breast, lettuce and ice water while they are gorging on all kinds of tasty treats. It’s like when a spouse is trying to quit smoking and the other constantly smokes in front of them. Hello… DEVIL SABOTEUR.

There are sure to be some more cranky moments to come because I’m off soda AGAIN (it’s my crack) and the caffeine cannot be completely replaced by coffee because I don’t want to taste my coffee and wouldn’t you know it, creamer has FAT and CALORIES in it. Sheesh… after the Costco tire run and dinner sabotage was complete, I stopped at the market for some nonfat creamer. Hopefully this helps!

I had no treatment effects, so Thankfully Oregon Dad didn’t get to be delighted with tales of oily BM or gas.


About PolkaDotMommy

Wife to a teacher extraordinaire... Mama to Five littles... Conservative Catholic Christian with a Strong Environmentalist Mentality... Respecting Life... Living for our Savior... Learning to trust God in all things.
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3 Responses to The Saboteur

  1. Oh, I wish you luck. I was not able to handle Alli no matter how low I went on the grease. It’s worked great for a lot of friends.

    Have you considered Hi-Maize fiber? Check out my website. you add it to your food, you get filled up faster and it lowers cholesterol and sugar….90lbs later…and going.

  2. I love the wierdo guy we see here on the colon cleanse infomercials. He looks like someone ffom the predator list.

  3. What is with you men and poo? I just don’t get it. 🙂

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