It’s probably not the best idea to decide you need some gluten free flours for a few baking projects you plan to undertake and drive the 15 minutes to the store. Nope.
You just might strike up a conversation with yourself over which flours to bring home and the young (and possibly hot) guy next to you will look at you strangely… then he will notice the blue medical band still on your left wrist and assume you escaped from the mental institution.
Definitely do not decide to run through the drive up window at McD’s because you are dieing for some nasty Mcnuggets. This will be the ONE time the nuggets are super fresh and hot… and the lady will tell you to park your GIANT Bad A@@ truck in the tiny spot obscured by a big, bushy tree to wait for them. You won’t be able to see crap as you (in your doped up state) park to wait. Backing out could result in a minor collision with said tree and the curb. Luckily no damage is done.
The drive home might prove even more fun than the drive into town. You could end up behind the crew painting the white and yellow lines on the Highway, for oh, about 8 miles. You might end up transfixed by the flashing lights and bold words proclaiming, “Wet Paint, Stay OFF lines.” And you could end up swerving onto the yellow lines several times. Remember… they can track those yellow tire prints to your drive way.
Those aforementioned baking projects… let’s just say, making homemade marshmallows while still slightly looped on Versed and Fentanyl… not the best idea.
Under NO circumstances should you let your children convince you to participate in a Wii Fit Hula-Off. Falling on your rear (while infinitely better than your face) is not a great example for your children. They will laugh at you, remind you (and everyone within hearing range) of it daily.
When your nurse calls later in the day to check on you, do NOT admit to doing any of the above. She will scold you like a little child. You will deserve it, but still.
Most of all, DO NOT BLOG ABOUT ANY OF IT. That drug they gave you? Versed… it causes AMNESIA. So, you won’t remember any of this tomorrow. Unless you blogged about it.