Mommy or Laundress and Short Order Cook?


Washing laundry for a family of seven is a full-time job. Seriously, I wash at least 3 loads a day, every single day including weekends. That equals, on average, 90 loads of laundry each month. Bleh. If we have a bad day (as we have had LOTS of lately), then a load or two of Little Critters bedding is added. Now that summer is here, it seems the kids do not realize they can hang up and re-use their towels and that bathing suits do not, in fact, need washed every single day. For some reason, Little Critter is obsessed with mud and mess making, so it never fails that the kids’ towels end up muddy instead of waiting nicely on the picnic table for their wet bodies to appear.


Now, there is a cozy looking, little bed. Just right for LC. Except its not “just right” in her opinion. In fact, everything about it is ALL WRONG. That would be because her usual bedding is in the wash again, for the second time today and about the billionth time this week.

For Little Critter to sleep, things must occur in a specific order. First the pink blanket, soft and fuzzy side UP, not down as I would put it so the fuzzy snuggles my skin. Oh NO, that can’t happen. Next comes the blue blanket. Unless she wants the yellow blanket today, then that one must go IN THE MIDDLE of the pink and blue blankets. Usually, the decision isn’t made to sleep with the yellow blanket until the blue one is already on her, so she lifts it up and instructs Mum to “put the yel-wo one right here… in the mid-will”. Then she will snuggle down, require her Panda (which looks like it has been through a Tornado, as it’s also the cat’s favorite toy), then Panda must be covered JUST SO. Next comes the hugs and kisses. In order, on the lips. If I kiss her cheek… it’s freak out time, “no, ON THE Wips, MOM! Kiss my Wips!”. Once I hit the door you can bet she is calling me back in because I forgot one of her hugs and kisses, or mine weren’t just right.

You can imagine that putting a child such as this to bed without her proper blankets causes issues. When I tell her that they are in the washing machine because she (fill in choice of phrases here: pee’d, rubbed bloody nose all over, vomited) on her bedding AGAIN. She responds with, “get ‘hem outta wash”. I try to explain that they are wet and she cannot sleep with them until they are dry again. This gets us no where. Lesson to Mom, wash FASTER. If I am lucky, at least one of the usual blankets has survived the most recent mess and I can attempt to soothe her with that.

Mom is a Laundress. Got it. Did I mention that my washing machine, now 8 years old (it was my crazy pregnant woman MUST HAVE prior to the birth of my first child) is on the fritz? Maybe fritz is putting it lightly. I walked into the laundry room and stood in water the other day. ‘Nuff said. Also the AC needs repaired and the dishwasher no longer cleans. Huh, talk about pouring when it rains. I’m drooling over the Red LG Steam Washer and Dryer, although not sure that’s going to happen with everything else crapping out at the same time. Oregon Dad ALMOST gave in to CHARGING the appliances. Hopefully we can avoid that.

Evidently, Mom is also a Short-Order Cook. For breakfast today, I decided the kiddos would have eggs since I was already making them for Oregon Dad’s Bagel/egg/sausage breakfast sandwich. So I made them, omelet style. Very pretty and folded just right. K3 loves hers smothered with Organic Ketchup, K1 only likes a little ketchup. After enjoying their eggs, K1 wants a bagel, toasted with cream cheese and K3 wants applesauce with cinnamon. Then Little Critter wants no eggs, just a bagel and yes, it can have cream cheese on it as well. K2 finally crawls out of bed. No eggs for her either, but she’ll have a bagel with BUTTER, no cream cheese, meanwhile, K3 has decided that she wants something “like a bagel” since we are out of GF bagels around here. I said the only thing I have is GF pancakes or toast. So, she has a pancake with REAL Maple syrup. Now K1, K2 and LC would also like applesauce with cinnamon. Just as I’m ready to sit down, LC decides she also requires some cereal. By this point, I was sure they were all full… she was very insistent so finally I gave her a small bowl and faced the fits when she asked for a refill.

I thought we were all having EGGS for breakfast. But then, what do I know, I’m just the cook. 🙂 I do love to remind the kids, when they are whining about breakfast… how lucky they are. I ask them, “how many of your friends get fresh blueberry muffins (or pancakes, eggs, waffles, etc…) on school mornings?” That usually quiets them down for oh, about five minutes. Why do they appreciate the nasty, chemical laden cinnamon rolls the school offers over Moms good food?

Stay tuned, I’m attempting REAL Donuts, Gluten Free style this weekend. Should be interesting! Oregon Dad’s response was “great, so we are getting hockey pucks for breakfast?”.


About PolkaDotMommy

Wife to a teacher extraordinaire... Mama to Five littles... Conservative Catholic Christian with a Strong Environmentalist Mentality... Respecting Life... Living for our Savior... Learning to trust God in all things.
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4 Responses to Mommy or Laundress and Short Order Cook?

  1. Meg says:

    I don’t know how you do it, I can barely keep up with 2 kids + hubby. I remember as a kid (6 of us all together), we were not allowed to wear clothes once and “throw them down”, they had to be worn until they got dirty, especially jeans! My mom had one of those 6ft school lunch tables that the clothes landed on when they came out of the chute. That all came back to me when I sw the pic you included in this post 😉
    Seems like my family now, changes clothes 3+ times a day, which is ridiculous. And no one seems to know where the chute is, except mommy, even though hubby built it and the kids sat and watched him….
    It is Sunday- let me know how the donuts turned out! yum!

  2. These things are a must read for two groups of people…

    1. Soon-To-Be-First-Time-Mothers

    2. High School girls

    Oh! The joy and glamour of being a mom!

  3. Meg says:

    I agree! haha.
    I learned to do the laundry in the 5th grade , plus my usual chores of dusting and vacuuming- and when I say vacuuming, that meant I actually had to move furniture. My father also made me stand at the stove and watch my mother while she cooked. I hated it. But of course I learned so much and it was such a valuable lesson.

  4. I definitely think it would do Teen Girls a world of good to learn about the “glamorous” life of a soccer mom. It might be pushing it to foist my life upon a first time expectant mom… after all, she can’t “undo” the impending Mommy-dom and she might wish too! 🙂

    Standing at the stove and watching Mama cook cracks me up. TeenGirl wanted to help make the donuts… that girl just about kills anything she tries to make. So, I told her to WATCH. The smart*ss says, “oh, wait I better take notes”.

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